Topics in Digital Media - Fall 09 » Gay Male

Social networking or just looking for sex?

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 07:03:08 +0000

I wanted to look into why gay men need a segregated social space, but as I continued to wrap my head around this idea I simply kept going in circles even I though I already knew the answer. Sometimes you just don’t want to admit that those truths, that though they aren’t true for everyone, including yourself, you know that it’s the truth for the majority. It’s like those stereotypes that people want to believe don’t exist even though we know that they still happen on a major level. The point of all of this is that my unfortunate truth is that the big pull for gay men to a segregated social site is sex. I know that’s kind of brash, but it’s hard to even argue when one of the largest shareholders for the site is another website specifically geared to just this. Yes, they did start with the intent of being a simply Myspace for gay men, as noted in this article, but there are even contradictions within their mission that cause you to question their real motive; one of the founders states in the article that:

“The new generation of gay men may not be as political as those before them, but they are more socially integrated. “They mix with the straight community and demand to be accepted as equals.””

If you’re already mixing within the straight community and you want to be seen as equals, then what is the point of having a separate social site? Why don’t you just fight for more visibility and access using other sites such as Myspace? It was actually within the last month or so that it was reported that the site Manhunt.net (this link will take you to the wikipedia page about the site rather than the actual site) had acquired a majority stake in the website, and though the features that both sites share isn’t a recent event, they are features worth investigating as to what these sites are being used for by a larger portion of their users. The differentiations between sites like DList and more mainstream sites like Facebook or Myspace could probably be listed and analyzed for pages on end, so in order to keep some focus I will concentrate, within this entry, on what kind of personal information these sites look for their users to illicit within their profiles.

All three sites allow you create a custom profile, to a larger or smaller extent, and all three give you a couple of pre-set parameters to choose from as a way of identifying yourself within their network. For all three sites, you are asked so put in a portion of your personal information, from sex/gender to your relationship/marital status to what you are looking for in the people you meet on the site. Facebook tends to keep this very basic and simple with very few things that need to be selected and lacking any so of sexual orientation/identity indicator; you are simply allowed to click if you are looking for men or women, but if you are looking only for friends or networking then this could be misleading as to a persons sexual orientation.

Facebook Basic Information

This is also one of the issues that was brought to my attention when I interviewed people who use the DList site about why Facebook isn’t sufficient for what they are looking for. They don’t want to be confronted with the discomfort for talking to someone on the mere possibility of them being of a similar orientation as themselves if they are unsure if it is true. Myspace helps to alleviate some of this confusion by adding the addition of sexual orientation to their list of details that you can enter, as well as a few other personal details such as height, body type, and smoking and drinking habits; these added details can help when people want to use such a site more like an online personals search.

Myspace Basic Information

DList takes their personal details to the next level of “personal.” While including many of the same details that Myspace implores (although adding a broader gender spectrum to their choices; including Female to Male and Male to Female choices), DList also finds itself much closer to a gay personals site; asking for things such as specific weight, hair color, eye color, drug use, body hair, tattoos, piercings.

DList Basic Information

It doesn’t stop there though, due to the nature of this site, and many like it, they want you to get as personal as possible, at least if you are one of the many looking for a little personal (or mutual, I guess) enjoyment. As such, DList uses another section of questioning to help other determine in you are compatible with what they are looking for. This section includes items such as sexual position, HIV status (oddly enough this is the only STD posted under this or any section), and sexual activities; although you are also allowed to opt that this section is not included or searchable in your profile.

DList Sexual Interests

These can be some of the most intimate of details about a person, and rather than using unmediated social spaces such as clubs, bars, or (real world) social groups to possibly meet people and find these things out through what some might call “the game,” it has come down to the convenience and “anonymity” (or at least the allusion) of the internet.

Though I might seem to be coming from a negative perspective on this whole issue, this topic is very taboo and opinions on what this information is really telling us will vary greatly. One person that really engages this topic is Violet Blue. Violet Blue is a blogger and author who’s been discussing and engaging ideas of sex in our society for years. From her point of view, such places as DList with the ability for someone to search for and locate others who are sexually similar to them might work in the same way as any other social network. Maybe men are simply looking for sex, but it is a way of allowing someone to see that there are people just like them out there; giving community to those who might feel deviant because of heteronormative values pushed in mainstream society.

The following is a lecture that Violet Blue gave specifically targeting sex, the internet, and privacy:

Click here to view the embedded video.

(Watch at your own discretion, I found the first 30min the most interesting as it somewhat relates to this topic)

So where do social sites fall in this whole realm of sexuality on the internet? DList might facilitate sexual interactions or maybe it simply allows people to find other individuals who have similar, albeit socially taboo, interests. Even after questioning a random assortment of individuals who use the DList website, though a social aspect was mentioned, the belief that there was an end all sexual motive to the whole site was present in every discussion. I believe that maybe this research deserves a larger perspective of where people, in general, feel comfortable to express their sexuality without being demeaned, considered deviant, or shunned by their peers for simply trying to be open about deepest desires.Similar Posts:

Does the gay male really need a segregated social network?

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:00:43 +0000

There has been a constant struggle in our society to eliminate segregation, and yet there are still groups that pursue the ability the segregate themselves from the rest of society. For this reason, I want to see why gay men find the need to segregate themselves withing the social networking community. What does a site like DList offer them that they cannot find in a place like Myspace or Facebook? Other popular sites of this sort will also be explored in their relation to this pro/con analysis, as well as where these sites compare to DList. Through further research, I will also inquire as to whether such segregation is good for their community or not.Similar Posts:

Networking the Gay Male

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 16:35:27 +0000

Social networking sites have been a booming business in the recent years especially with the more prominent sites such as Myspace and Facebook, and although social networking isn’t altogether a new thing, these versions have brought social networking to a whole new level through the use of new media. These sites have also opened up the door to other entrepreneurs to find their own audiences to entice through social networking that caters to a particular social subset. For me, this brings about my interest in new media’s part in the creation of identity for a new generation, as well as questions about the positive or negative impacts of exclusionary social groups.

For this particular travelogue I would like to take a look at the social networking site DList. This particular site is, as stated on their welcome page, “a social network for gay guys and their friends.” While all essential functions of the website are available to anyone who signs up for free, there are a number of features and restrictions that can only be unlocked through a paid subscription; either $10 a month or $25 every three months. This site has attracted my attention because of the seemingly large number of users and lack of attention that it has attracted even within the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) mass media. This kind of site is a perfect example of one form of exclusivity within the LGBT community that I believe to be a part of an inability, at times, within the LGBT community to find a cohesive community within itself or even with the outer heteronormative community.

The other issue that intrigues me with this site is what kind of image this site gives to the gay male as a stereotype and the gay male as an individual. Because this site comes off as a mixed form derived from the likes of Myspace and Gay.com (typically seen as a form of dating site), it seemingly takes on a unique new way to engage their audience and allow gay men to interact in a “safe” space. But does this “safe” space really give people an open forum to be who they really are, or does it perpetuate a certain type of identity that users feel the need to conform to in order to be apart of this community? What do the advertisements say about the type of identities the website is looking to entice? Why have a membership fee that obviously perpetuates a sort of class system within this imagined community?

As a final approach to this, in order to allow myself to “travel” with my research, I would like to see what sort of connections this site makes with others of the same, or similar, type. Where does this site stand in the social hierarchy of LGBT networking?

Comments, questions you all might have about the topic as well, or any suggestions anyone might have as a way of furthering this search are MORE THAN WELCOME.Similar Posts: